Trying to Win at Losing Weight

I haven’t been here since last Friday.  Since I lost one pound.  I think I have since gained 3.  I don’t know.  I haven’t weighed but it feels this way.  What will be very interesting is the fact that I am going to weigh in the Friday after Thanksgiving.  Black Friday indeed.  I’m curious to see how much I will gain!

Either way, it will just give me more to lose.  It’s getting closer to January.  We’re making our way through the holidays.  It’s almost time.

So in honor of Thanksgiving, I’m going to think about the things I am thankful for!

I am thankful for my life.

I am thankful for my baby.

I am thankful for my husband.

I am thankful for my home.

I am thankful for the food I have, even though I overeat.

I am thankful for the rest of my family.

I am thankful that I’m happy even though I’m fat.

I am thankful to have options.

I am just thankful!

Today is Friday and it’s my second weigh in.  The first was done last Friday just to see where I was at so today is the first “check-in” to see if I am keeping my goal of maintaining through the holidays.

If you’re not sure what I’m doing, check out my first post at the bottom of the page, it clears it up a bit.  But, since the holidays are quickly approaching, I thought it’d be silly for me to start dieting now.  So I am trying not to gain and will actively being dieting in January. However, I will weigh myself every Friday just to keep myself in check!

Now that you’re all caught up…let me go weight myself!  Be Right Back!!

197lbs!!!!!!!  Wow I lost ONE pound!  I did not expect that!

See what positive thinking can do…or at least being conscious! 

Last Friday I was 198…today 197…One pound down…49 to go!!!!

I CAN DO THIS!

Why should I lose weight?

#1:  Health reasons!  Because I want to be healthier!  I want to lower my blood pressure, lower my cholesterol and I don’t want to increase my risk of diabetes.   Of couse, not all overweight people end up with diabetes but the odds are not in my favor.  Both maternal grandparents, and my paternal grandma had it.  Both my mother and father have it, as does one of my older brothers.  Not to mention numerous aunts and uncles on my mother’s side.  So I want to help reduce my risk by maintaining a healthy weight.

#2:  I want to save money by fitting into all my old clothes!  They are all in excellent condition; just sitting there.   My current clothes are getting raggedy since I wear them all the time and I refuse rebuilding my wardrobe in this size.

#3:  For my daughter!  I want her to grow and see me healthy and active.  Not heavy and lazy, as I am now.  I also avoid too many pictures because I hate the way I look.  I want her to have memories of me.  I want to WANT to take pictures and not be embarrassed because my arms look big, or because I have a double chin!  I know it’s ridiculous and I should just accept me as I am, but I’m way too vain for that.  I used to be a hottie…and now I’m nottie!

#4:  Do I need any others???  Oh yeah…to enchance my marital relationship.  We’re both too lazy right now to enjoy it.

I think that’s enough reasons for now.  Those are the most important to me at the moment.  I’m sure they’ll change or rearrange at some point.

Today is Thursday.  I will weigh in tomorrow.  I haven’t even snuck a peek yet.  I haven’t felt like it.  I don’t think the numbers have changed.  If they have, it’s probably up, but I haven’t been too bad this week.  We’ll see.

I’m going to work on some more strategies for myself and keep preparing for January!

So what are your reasons for wanting to lose?

So I’ve had enough of my, “I’m just going to eat all day” attitude.

I’m in the mood to explore what I’ve done in the past to help me lose weight.  I have to stay positive and focus on what works versus what I’m doing now.

First off…EAT.  No skipping breakfast.  No going all day with out eating, then gorging on dinner.  Some people think it helps to skip meals, but it really doesn’t.  When skipping meals, your body doesn’t know when it’s going to eat next and it goes into “survival mode”.  It stores up fat because it doesn’t know when it’s going to get it’s next meal.  Remember…our bodies are smarter and more efficient than we are.  The more you regularly eat, the more your body burns.

Eat at home.  Prepare your meals.  I know, it’s easier said than done in today’s society.  We are so used to just grabbing something.  Or popping something in the microwave.  It is possible to lose weight this way, but it’s all about portion size.  If you’re like me and you like large portions, making your own meals is the way to go.

Support.  I’m not one for support groups and such but it helps.  Having a support system, even if it’s just one other person doing it with you helps a ton!  It gives you someone to eat with, someone to complain to and someone to brag to!   I actually went to Weight Watchers meetings for about a year.  They were held at my workplace so it was nice to actually know the people.  The group matters.  If you’re in a group where you don’t connect with the people then it’s hard to go every week.  If you find a group you like…stick with it!  Weight Watchers makes you weigh in every week.  This helped me, since it made me accountable for my own weight loss.  Standing on a scale in front of someone every week sounds terrible.  And it is….when you gain.  But when you lose, it’s wonderful.  How’s that for motivation?!

Also, it’s key to remember that if you “mess up” one day, it doesn’t undo everything.  Just jump back on that wagon and keep on riding!  We’re all entitled to a screw up everynow and then, and it’s ok.  We’re human!  Just keep going from there and don’t give up!

And finally, don’t take away everything you love.  If you need dessert everyday, you can have it.  Just revamp it.  You need to make your diet pratical and for everyday living.  You can go to a party and eat a piece of birthday cake.  It’s ok, don’t sweat it.  Just account for it later in your day or bump up the activity to cancel it out.

I’m not here to promote Weight Watchers in any way, but it’s the only diet I know that works well for everyday living.  I’ve done Atkins, South Beach, and ridiculous starvation diets and this is one I’ve liked best.  But I’ve actually taken some useful things along with me from each diet.  You gotta do what works for you.

We’ll get there…believe me.  We will!!

So, it’s Monday.  I will weigh myself again on Friday.  Does that make any difference in what I will eat today?  It should, but probably won’t.

I was just scouring my kitchen for food…and I chose a can of Campbell’s Chunky Chili Beans…seems fitting.  Chunky!

I even managed to toss in a hotdog.  And I’m sure I will add cheese once it’s hot.  And who can resist eating it with crackers.  So, is my whole day down the drain?  Nope, just one meal is.  I can do better again, later.

I keep this stupid thought in my head…tell me…do you think this way?  “I need to get it out of my system.”  It’s ridiculous, because as I’m getting it “out of my system”, I am putting so much more, IN MY SYSTEM!  Oh well…another month and a half and I’ll be on my way to a better me.

Oh, and I had a talk with my husband yesterday.  He’s fat too.  It’s ok, I know what you’re thinking, but he doesn’t mind me calling me that, mainly because it’s true.  We are terrible together!  Everything is about food.  Which isn’t bad…food is essential to living, but not the way we eat.  So I talked to him about getting back on board with me.  I told him my plan to think about it now, everyday, so we’re in the mindset come January.  He agreed, and was excited…then asked…what’s for dinner! lol

I love him, and I want us to be thinner, together.

Mmmm, those chili beans smell good!

I love me some bbq!!  And that’s what I had today.  I hardly ate at all today but that’s still not good.  There’s a saying out there…and I learned a few years ago…that it’s true.  “The more you eat; the more you lose.”  I did Weight Watchers a few years ago and lost about 45lbs.  During that time I ate more than ever before…but I ate the right stuff.  Not the crap I’ve been eating lately.

This morning as I was decorating my cake I started shaking…and I realized…all I had was coffee…and buttercream!  I have to stop licking my fingers while decorating!  I didn’t even eat food till around 3pm!  I only had one plate and some cake and ice cream.  But that’s all–all day…a little carne asada, chicken, rice, chili beans, a tortilla, chips/salsa…ok…it didn’t sound like much a minute ago…but now that I write it out…it does.  I’m almost hungry again but I’m going to ignore it.

I need to get back to eating breakfast, and a snack.  Lunch…and a snack.  Dinner, snack, healthy dessert.  It worked before and was satisfying.  I need to do it again.

I’ve always loved to bake but I’ve never been very artistic.  I recently took Wilton Cake Decortating classes at a Michael’s Craft Store…and I loved it…I was actually pretty good at it.  But I don’t have much will power…so I make my cake…and I eat it too.

I have a bake a cake tonight and decorate it for my neice’s 17th birthday.

Well, I’m not losing…I’m maintaining this month…so it’s fine.

I’m not too sure how I’m going to decorate it yet…probably like the stores do…sheet cake…rope border…flower sprays on the corner?  I’m making a strawberry filling…i haven’t tried that yet…I hope it’s yummy!  haha  I’m gonna eat it all!!  (*or not!) 

I had eggs for breakfast and chinese food for lunch/dinner…and maybe a granola bar somewhere inbetween it all.

We’re going to bbq at my mom’s house tomorrow…not bad.

I love sweets too much though…I can never just have a  little…I always over do everything.  I have to get better with that.

Work on obessive behavior.

weight that is!  Am I thin yet??  Simple…the answer is NO!

Why am I here?  Because I need to lose weight, and I need to focus my thoughts and energy…and most of all…I need support.  Support, whether it be from readers, or just myself…I need to put my efforts in writing so I know I am doing something, because I’m tired of doing nothing.

So what am I going to do here?  I am going to post my weight once a week.  (*EEK! WHY!!)  I have been thinking of this all day…I decided that I will do a weekly weigh-in, every Friday.  At first I laughed at the thought, thinking Yeah Freaking Right…post my weight…whatever…but then I realized something.  I walk around with this extra weight every day, if I am seen with it everyday of my life…why can’t I say it?  Write it?  Admit it?  So if I am asking you to come along with me on my weight loss journey…I have to let you in on my secrets.   So I promise…I will post my weight every Friday, whether it’s good or bad…up or down.

Also…I will log my thoughts everyday to see how I am emotionally connected to eating…big subject on its own…but I know many are like me.

I will post recipes when applicable.  I will share whatever is working for me.  I will essentially, take you along with me.

So…will you join me?

I bet you’re still wondering why…well…why not.  If you need to lose some weight, if you need some motivation, then we can all help each other.  Hopefully at some point I will start to lose and you can be inspired to do it for yourself.  Hopefully through this process I will inspire myself!  That’s my ultimate goal.

Speaking of goals…

Goal #1…start simple and be realistic.  I know the holidays are approaching, and I know I will just be setting myself up for failure if I start to “diet” now.  So I am going to be real and make my first goal…not to lose weight…but to maintain my weight through the holidays.  I will actively begin trying to lose weight at the first of the new year.  I just want to get myself in the mindset to start…my theory is that if I start to think about it now…maybe I’ll be ready then.

Motivation…what is mine?  Well, the obvious have not been working lately…to look good, to feel good, to fit into my old clothes…those just haven’t been cutting it.  So, my new motivation is…to get in shape to have another baby.  I have a 13 month old daughter…I am also a stay at home mom…you can read about that journey at http://sahmjoys.today.com/.  Anyway…if we ever decide to have another one…it will be after she turns 2 years old, which is at the end of Sept 2009…well we will start trying a few months after that…which will be around Dec or Jan…so I have one year to get down to my goal weight.  I know you’re probably thinking…ok…get skinny so you can get fat again…I know…but I do not want to get pregnant at my current weight…NO WAY!!  I want to get down to my goal weight so I can have a healthy and safe pregnancy if and when we decide to try.  If we decide one is enough for us…then I’ll just reap the benefits of being a hot momma!

So how much do I have to lose anyway???  Was that your next question?  Well…somewhere in the ballpark of 50 pounds.  I haven’t been brave enough to weigh in yet.  lol    I think one year for 50lbs is completely realistic and doable…and in fact…I have done it before.  A few years back I lost that amount…and kept it off for about a year…I was down to 145 actually…I gained about 15lbs while trying to conceive my last baby.  During my pregnancy…from 1st prenatal visit to the day I went into labor…I gained 70lbs!!!  Ridiculous I know!!  But I developed pre-eclampsia and gained a ton towards the end…another reason I want to do this.

I lost 30 lbs right away once my daughter was born, and kept the rest…this past year I’ve gone up and down…and here I am now…ready to do this….

I’ll be right back with my current weight…*sigh*

First Official Weigh In:

11/14/08:  198lbs

My goal weight is 150lbs.

LET THE JOURNEY BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!